MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE.
The topic of Marriage, Divorce and
Remarriage is controversial in the Western Culture. We are in the
midst of a cultural revolution in this culture, and the what the
culture wants has become the norm, even to the point of replacing the
teachings of Christ. This portion of the web page is meant to
reexamine the teachings of the Bible regarding Marriage, Divorce and
Remarriage so that the reader might be able to consider the evidence
and make an informed decision for himself or herself. When Christ
and His apostles taught regarding these subjects, it was counter
cultural. His teachings are still counter cultural.
The OT Basis for NT Teachings:
Gen 2:19 - 25
(ESV)
19So out of the ground
the Lord God formed
every beast of the field
and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what
he would
call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was
its
name. 20The man
gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to
every beast
of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for
him. 21So the Lord God caused a deep sleep
to fall upon the man, and while
he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
22And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the
man he made
into a woman and brought her to the man. 23Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my
bones and flesh
of my flesh; she
shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of
Man.”
24Therefore a man shall leave
his father
and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one
flesh.
25And the man and his wife
were both naked
and were not ashamed.
The passage forms the basis for the teachings
of
Jesus and
Paul. With the exception of Moses’
allowing of divorce in Deut 24:1-4, it also
forms the understanding
of the prophets.
Ex 20:14
(ESV)
14“You
shall not commit adultery.
This is the Mosaic Law basis for defining
adultery
as a
sin. It is one of the 10
commandments. Therefore, it was a matter
of great weight in the mind of God.
Deut 24:1 - 4
(ESV)
1“When a
man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his
eyes
because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a
certificate
of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house,
and she
departs out of his house, 2and if she goes and
becomes another
man’s wife, 3and
the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of
divorce
and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the
latter man
dies, who took her to be his wife, 4then her former husband,
who sent her away, may not take
her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for
that is an
abomination before the Lord.
And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you
for an inheritance.
This is the
allowance
God made
for the Jews because their hearts were hard, and they would not accept
the
standard God set at creation. The import
of the passage is that the man could divorce his wife because “…he has
found
some indecency in her….” He was obligated
to give her a certificate of divorce, showing that she was no longer
subject to
him. She could then remarry, but if that
second husband sends her away, then she couldn't go back to her first
husband. However, Moses clearly refers to
the second
marriage as a state in which the wife was “defiled,” reinforcing the
fact that
God was not happy with the second marriage, and that what He wants is
monogamous
marriage for life.
Ezra 10:1 - 5
(ESV)
1While Ezra prayed and made
confession,
weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great
assembly
of men, women, and children, gathered to him out of Israel,
for the people wept
bitterly. 2And
Shecaniah the son of Jehiel, of the sons of Elam,
addressed Ezra: “We have broken faith with our God and have married
foreign
women from the peoples of the land, but even now there is hope for Israel
in spite of this. 3Therefore let us make a
covenant with our God to put away
all these wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord
and of
those who tremble at the commandment of our God, and let it be done
according
to the Law.
4Arise, for it is your task,
and we are
with you; be strong and do it.” 5Then Ezra arose and made the
leading priests and Levites and all Israel take
oath that they would do as had been said. So they took the oath.
In Ezra chapters
9-10, Ezra returns
to Jerusalem to join the other exiles
that had already come
out of Babylon and had already returned
to Jerusalem
to rebuild it. However, Ezra discovers
that many of these
exiles had married foreign women. This
was against the Law (Exodus 34:11-16).
Ezra confesses this great sin before God, and confesses that
they are in
guilt having forsaken His commandments.
Most of those who witnessed Ezra’s prayer were stricken with
guilt, and
they also confessed their sin. They made
a covenant with God to put away these wives and their children. Those in modern times often look back with
dismay at what Ezra and exiles did regarding these illegal marriages. However, Paul states in Rom 15:4,
“For whatever was written in former days was written for our
instruction….” Indeed, their solution
might well have to be considered today in some circumstances.
Mal 2:13 - 16
(ESV)
13And this second thing you
do. You cover
the Lord’s altar
with tears,
with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or
accepts
it with favor from your hand. 14But you say, “Why does he
not?” Because
the Lord was
witness
between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been
faithless, though
she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15Did he not make them one,
with a portion
of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God
seeking? Godly offspring. So guard
yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife
of your
youth. 16“For the man who hates and
divorces, says the Lord,
the God of Israel, covers his
garment with violence, says the Lord
of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Here the
prophets’
voice is
most clearly heard regarding this issue of divorce.
This passage reckons back to Genesis 2:19-25,
and not to Deut
24:1-4. God
did not accept their tears, their
weeping, their groaning, and he had no regard for their offerings. Why?
It is because the men had been faithless in their marriages with
their
wives. God had put those marriages
together, and man had no right to separate them. God
held them accountable to that first
union. Their sorrow and their sacrifices
would not change His mind about their unapproved marriages.
New Testament Teachings.
Teaching of John the Baptist:
Mark 6:16 - 20
(ESV)
16But
when Herod heard of it, he said, “John, whom I beheaded, has been
raised.” 17For it was Herod who had
sent and seized John and bound him in
prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because he
had
married her. 18For
John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have
your
brother’s wife.” 19And Herodias had a grudge
against him and wanted to put him to
death. But she could not, 20for Herod feared John,
knowing that he was a righteous and holy
man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed,
and yet
he heard him gladly.
Herodias and Philip were married.
Herod (who was Philip’s brother) seduced Herodias,
she divorced Philip and married Herod.
John said, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s
wife.” His reference was to Lev 18:16
and 20:21. God saw Herodias as still the
wife of
Philip. Herod and Herodias disagreed
with God and John the Baptist, and eventually murdered John the Baptist
for
criticizing their marriage. This shows
us that local law and customs do not trump God’s law.
Terms
There are specific Greek words used to
describe
adultery in
the New Testament. According to W.E.
Vine, An Expository Dictionary of New
Testament Words, Fleming H.
Revell Company, Old Tappan, NJ, 1966, these are as follows:
|
NOUNS
|
VERBS
|
|
μοιχός
denotes one who has unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another, Luke 18:11; 1
Cor 6:9; Heb
13:4. As to James 4:4,
see below.
|
μοιχάω
to commit adultery, used in the Middle Voice in the NT, is said of men
in Matt 5:32;
19:9; Mk 10:11; of women in Mk 10:12.
|
|
μοιχαλίς
an adultress, used both in a natural sense, 2 Pet 2:14; Rom 7:3;
and in a spiritual sense, James 4:4.
|
μοιχεύω
to commit adultery, used in Matt
5:27, 28, 32
(some texts in vs 32 have #1); 19:18; Mk 10:19; Lk 16:18; 18:20;
John 8:4;
Rom 2:22;
13:9; James 2:11; in Rev 2:22, metaphorically, of those who
are by Jezebel’s solicitations are drawn away to idolatry.
|
|
μοιχεία
adultery, as found in Matt 15:19; Mk 7:21;
John 8:3
(A.V. only).
|
|
The following two references give these
definitions for
adultery:
Title: Easton’s Bible Dictionary
Edition: First
Copyright: Copyright © Ellis Enterprises,
Inc., 1993
Adultery
CONJUGAL INFIDELITY. AN
ADULTERER WAS A
MAN WHO HAD ILLICIT INTERCOURSE WITH A MARRIED OR A BETROTHED WOMAN,
AND SUCH A
WOMAN WAS AN ADULTERESS. INTERCOURSE BETWEEN A MARRIED MAN AND AN
UNMARRIED
WOMAN WAS FORNICATION. ADULTERY WAS REGARDED AS A GREAT SOCIAL WRONG,
AS WELL
AS A GREAT SIN.
Title: Holman Bible
Dictionary
Edition: Third
Copyright: Copyright © 1991 Holman Bible
Publishers.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Electronic
Edition STEP
Files Copyright © 1998, Parsons Technology, Inc.
ADULTERY is
the act of unfaithfulness in marriage that occurs when one of the
marriage
partners voluntarily engages in sexual intercourse with a person of the
opposite sex other than the marriage partner.
Now with an understanding of these terms and
definitions,
let us explore what Jesus says about marriage, divorce and remarriage.
The Teachings of Jesus:
Matt 15:17 - 20
(ESV)
17Do you not see that whatever
goes into the
mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? 18But
what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a
person. 19For out
of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual
immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 20These
are what defile a person.
But to eat with
unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”
Mark 7:20 - 23
(ESV)
20And he
said, “What
comes out of
a person is what defiles him. 21For from within, out of the
heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual
immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22coveting, wickedness, deceit,
sensuality,
envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23All these evil things come from
within, and
they defile a person.”
These two passages show that Jesus regards
adultery as a
serious sin and that adultery defiles a person.
Jesus says that this sin comes from our hearts.
Mark 10:11 - 12
(ESV)
11And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and
marries
another commits adultery against her, 12and if she divorces her
husband and marries another, she
commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18
(ESV)
18“Everyone who divorces his
wife and marries
another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her
husband
commits adultery.
In these two passages, Jesus strongly teaches
the
permanence
of marriage in the eyes of God. Although
many people in the Western culture completely disagree with Christ,
there is no evidence that our prejudices, opinions and culture will
change God’s mind regarding
marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Matt 5:27 - 32
(ESV)
27“You have
heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
28But I say to you that everyone
who looks
at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her
in his
heart. 29If your right eye causes you
to sin, tear it out and throw it away.
For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole
body be
thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes
you to sin, cut it off and throw it
away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your
whole
body go into hell. 31“It was also
said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her
a certificate of divorce.’ 32But I say to you that everyone
who
divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her
commit
adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matt 19:3 - 12
(ESV)
3And
Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to
divorce
one’s wife for any cause?” 4He answered, “Have you not read that he
who created
them from the beginning made them male and female, 5and
said,‘Therefore a man shall leave his
father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become
one
flesh’? 6So
they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has
joined
together, let not man separate.” 7They said to him, “Why then
did Moses
command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her
away?” 8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of
heart Moses
allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not
so. 9And
I say to you: whoever divorces his
wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits
adultery.” 10The disciples said to him,
“If such is
the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
11But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this
saying, but
only those to whom it is given. 12For there are eunuchs who have
been so from
birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and
there are
eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of
heaven.
Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
These two passages contain a more
comprehensive
account of
Christ’s teachings on marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
In Matt
5, Jesus shows us that lust
is the condition of the heart that causes people to defile themselves. It is the picturing in one’s mind of sexually
desiring and longing for someone who is not yours to have.
Christ says in a hyperbolic manner that WE
MUST DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO AVOID ADULTERY.
His language regarding gouging out eyes and cutting off hands
are to be
understood in this manner. Clearly He is
saying that we will certainly go to Hell if we engage in adultery. This is deadly serious language.
Jesus clearly says that if we divorce our wives,
we make them to become adulteresses, undoubtedly because they will feel
free to
remarry. And if a man marries a divorced
woman he commits adultery. This is not
confusing language. Only the hardness of
our hearts and minds will cause us to misunderstand the words of the
Son of
God.
Matt 19 gives further
information. The Pharisees ask Jesus a
specific question,
“Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
Actually this is a fortunate question for us
as they are asking for Jesus’ opinion regarding any divinely approved
cause regarding
divorce. The two opposing opinions among
the Rabbis of that time were that divorce could be for any cause, or
divorce
could be only for sexual immorality. In
answering, Jesus cites Scriptural authority from Gen 2:24,
where “…a man shall
leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they
shall
become one flesh.” Christ’s critical
interpretation followed: “What therefore God has joined together, let
not man
separate.” He thus shows that God’s will
for marriage is a life-long monogamous relationship between a man and a
woman. It is permanent because God joined
them
together, and man has no authority to separate what God has joined.
The Pharisees counter by citing Deut 24:1-4,
showing that
Moses commanded the certificate of divorce before sending the wife away. Jesus explained that this was an allowance
God granted because of their hard hearts, but that was not God’s plan
for
marriage. Again Jesus drives home the
point by saying, “…whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and
marries another, commits adultery.” This
was tough language when Jesus spoke it, and it is tough language for us
now,
especially in the Western culture. We
don’t want to hear this because we, like the Jews, are fond of
divorcing our
mates for any reason and marrying whomever we want.
In so many instances, what God wants is of no
importance to us. Rather it is our own
selfish desires that rule the day. We
even delude ourselves into thinking that we have received a “sign” from
God
that is it OK to divorce and marry another, even it is clearly wrong
according
to God’s Word. Marriage is
permanent. God made it permanent in the
Garden of Eden, at the very dawn of life.
God joined the first man and the first woman together and
clearly
implied by His actions that no man had any authority to separate what
He had
joined. Whoever divorces his wife and
marries another commits adultery. God
wants marriage to be permanent, permanent, permanent.
In both Matt 5 and Matt 19,
Jesus gives only a single
exception to his command that whoever divorces his wife and marries
another
commits adultery. He says, “except for
sexual immorality.” Sexual immorality,
then, is the ONLY exception to this
law of Christ concerning marriage. If a
man divorces his wife because she is sexually immoral, and then marries
another
wife, he DOES NOT commit adultery. Note
that Jesus does not command that they must divorce under these
condition. However, under this
circumstance divorce is legitimate before God.
Jesus concluded the Matt 19
passage by
talking
about being single. When the apostles
realize that Jesus is saying marriage is permanent, they appear to be
appalled
over the prospect of marrying poorly, and being stuck with such a
marriage. They say, “If such is the case
of a man with
his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus then talks about being single, the fact that it can be
good for
the kingdom, but shows that being single is not everyone, “…but
only those
to whom it is given.” Paul will also
talk about being single in 1 Cor 7 (see below).
Now it is wise to know exactly what the Bible
means by
“sexual
immorality,” since this is the ONLY
reason given by Christ whereby God will accept divorce. This is the
Greek word πορνεία
and
the meaning is summarized well by Thayer:
Title: Thayer’s Greek
Definitions
Edition: Third
Copyright: Electronic Edition STEP Files
Copyright ©
1999, Parsons Technology, Inc.
G4202
πορνεία
porneia
Thayer
Definition:
1) illicit sexual intercourse
1a) adultery, fornication,
homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse
with animals etc.
1b) sexual intercourse with
close relatives; Lev. 18
1c) sexual intercourse with
a divorced man or woman; Mk.
10:11,12
2) metaphorically the
worship of idols
2a) of the defilement of
idolatry, as incurred by eating the
sacrifices offered to idols
Part of
Speech: noun
feminine
In other words, “sexual immorality” includes
all
intercourse
outside of the man-woman marriage. Thus,
“sexual immorality” is not only an untrue spouse having illicit
intercourse,
but also a mate who is engaged in illicit intercourse before marriage. It includes all behaviors that are
unchaste. See also the following
summarization of this definition:
Title: Holman Bible
Dictionary
Edition: Third
Copyright: Copyright © 1991 Holman Bible
Publishers.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Electronic
Edition STEP
Files Copyright © 1998, Parsons Technology, Inc.
As a whole, the New
Testament uses porneia, most often
translated fornication, in at least four ways:
1.
Voluntary sexual intercourse of an unmarried person with someone of the
opposite sex (1 Cor. 7:2; 1 Thess. 4:3).
2. A
synonym for adultery (Matt.
5:32; 19:9). See Adultery; Divorce.
3. Harlotry
and prostitution (Rev.
2:14, 20).
4. Various
forms of unchastity (John 8:41; Acts 15:20; 1 Cor. 5:1).
The Teachings of Paul:
Rom 7:1 - 4
(ESV)
1Or do you not know,
brothers—for I am
speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person
only as
long as he lives? 2Thus a married woman is
bound by law to her husband while he
lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.
3Accordingly, she will be
called an
adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive.
But if her
husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man
she is
not an adulteress. 4Likewise,
my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ,
so that
you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in
order
that we may bear fruit for God.
In this passage, Paul takes an illustration
from
the old law
to show that we live under Christ’s new covenant and not under the old
law. This illustration is regarding the
law of
marriage. However, this law cannot be
found in the Old Testament except in the obvious implications of Genesis 2:24. This is indeed the basis for Christ’s
doctrine of marriage. Marriage is
permanent. It can only be broken by
death here. If the husband is married
and his wife is found to be with another man, then she is an adulteress. She is an adulteress for as long as she lives
with a man who is not her husband. God
hasn’t changed his mind. Marriage is
permanent, and the only honorable way to dissolve a marriage is by
death of the
husband or the wife. If we are found
living with someone other than our spouse, we are sinning and living in
adultery.
1 Cor 6:9 - 11
(ESV)
9Do you not know that the
unrighteous will
not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the
sexually
immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor
men who
practice homosexuality, 10nor thieves, nor the
greedy, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
11And such were some of you.
But you were
washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord
Jesus
Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
In this passage
that
Paul wrote
to Christians in Corinth, he shows that
sexually
immoral people, including adulterers, will not inherit the kingdom of God. In
other words, if these Christians are
practicing adultery, i.e., if they are with someone other than their
first
spouse, then they cannot go to heaven.
Since they live in it and practice this sin, they are guilty of
this sin
for as long as they are together.
However, Paul also shows that this sin of adultery can be
forgiven. He says that some of these
Christians once
practiced these sins. But they obviously
repented and stopped practicing these sins, for Paul says, “And such WERE some of you.” At their
baptism they were sanctified and
justified in the name of Jesus by the Holy Spirit.
Adultery is not an unforgivable sin. For
the person who has obeyed the terms of
salvation already (see Acts 2:38), and then
has fallen into
adultery or other sins, the Scripture prescribes what we must do to be
forgiven: There must be confession of
sin, repentance (a change in mind and life) and prayer asking for God’s
mercy
and forgiveness (see Acts
8:22; 1
John 1:5-9). We are continually cleansed of our sins by
Jesus’ blood, but only if we walk in the light as He is in the light. We cannot have fellowship with Him if we walk
in darkness.
Some people have
the
mistaken
impression that “repentance” simply means being sorry for sins.
It certainly includes that, but it means more
than that in Biblical terms. Note what
Paul says regarding the relationship between godly sorrow, repentance,
and
eternal life:
2 Cor 7:10
(ESV)
10For godly grief produces
a repentance that leads to salvation
without regret, whereas worldly
grief produces death.
Godly sorrow or
grief
is not
the same thing as repentance, but godly sorrow produces repentance, and
this
leads to salvation. So what is
repentance?
Acts 26:20
(ESV)
20but
declared first to those in Damascus,
then in Jerusalem and throughout all
the region of Judea, and also to the
Gentiles, that they should
repent and turn to God, performing deeds in keeping with their
repentance.
Biblical
repentance
is turning
to God, and showing by our actions that we have indeed repented. It is a change in mind and life.
Perhaps to most memorable illustration of
repentance is the account of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32. He changed his mind about his sin, he left
his sinning, he returned to his father and he pleaded for forgiveness.
1 Cor 7:10 - 16
(ESV)
10To the married I give this
charge (not I,
but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does, she should
remain
unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should
not
divorce his wife. 12To
the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is
an
unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce
her. 13If any woman has a husband
who is an
unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce
him.
14For the unbelieving husband
is made holy
because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of
her
husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they
are
holy. 15But if
the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the
brother or
sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16Wife, how do you know
whether you will
save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your
wife?
1 Cor 7:39
(ESV)
39A
wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband
dies, she
is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
1 Cor 7 has been
variously interpreted by
many people. However, we must note the
first (vs 10) and last (vs 39) divine commands made through the apostle
Paul on
the subject of marriage, divorce and remarriage, for these serve as
context
within which all else must be understood.
Now before delving into 1 Cor 7,
we must ask the
question, what is the authority of an apostle in regard to commanding
us? First we must realize that an apostle
cannot
change what Christ has commanded (Gal 1:8).
However, Christ instructed His apostles that the Holy Spirit
would help
them remember His teachings, would guide them into all truth, and would
reveal
new teachings to them as He would direct.
An excellent summary of this in found in the
Gospel written
by John. Christ taught the apostles that
he would send the Holy Spirit to them after his ascension and the Holy
Spirit
would do several things for them, including—
- Would teach
them all things
(John 14:26)
- Would bring to their
remembrance
all that he had told them (John 14:26)
- Would bear
witness about
Christ (John 15:26)
- Would convict
the world
regarding sin, righteousness and judgment (John 16:8)
- Would reveal new
information
to the apostles that Christ had not taught them during his earthly
ministry (John 16:12)
- Would lead them
into all truth
(John 16:13)
- Would not speak
on his own
authority, but whatever the Holy Spirit hears he will speak to the
apostles, and will declare things that are to come (John 16:13)
- Would glorify
Christ, would
take from Christ what is Christ’s and declare it to the apostles (John
16:14).
In addition, Christ tells his apostles that
if
people obeyed
His teaching, they would obey the apostles’ teaching also (John
15:20).
Thus, not only are Christ’s commands binding on us, but so are the
commands of
his apostles, for they are really the commands of Christ also. Therefore, Paul has full
authority to command us as he is an apostle of Christ.
In 1 Cor 7:1-9, Paul
affirms, as a
concession, that “…because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each
man
should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” (1 Cor 7:2). The tension in these verses is between
remaining single and becoming married.
He wishes that all were as he was (i.e., single), but
acknowledges that
each has his own gift. He affirms the
rightness of marriage and the rightness of remaining single, especially
for the
unmarried and widows. He acknowledges
the problem of sexual tension when he says, “For it is better to marry
than to
be aflame with passion.”
In 1 Cor 7:10-11, Paul
gives the divine
command that marriage is permanent. Clearly
this is written to Christians since what follows is written to mixed
marriages. God does not want separation
in marriage, but reconciliation. If
separation takes place, then living “unmarried” is the ONLY
option granted if reconciliation is not possible. Divorce
is forbidden. Please note that
Paul gives NO option for divorce in
this circumstance. It is very important
to understand these two verses, because nothing in the following verses
can
turn this divine commandment on its head.
In 1 Cor 7:12-16, Paul
addresses the
marriage of a believer to an unbeliever.
He introduces this by saying that he has no command from the
Lord
regarding this, and is giving his best advice (compare verse 25). This problem of mixed marriages always exists
wherever there is evangelism. Frequently
one spouse will believe, while the other will not.
He commands the believers NOT TO DIVORCE their
unbelieving
spouses. There is a sense in which the
entire family is made holy by the presence of a believing spouse,
meaning that
God has chosen to work in the situation.
His goal is for the believing spouse to save their mate. However, if the unbelieving spouse decides to
leave the believing spouse, Paul says, “...let it be so.
In such cases the brother of sister is not
enslaved.” (vs 15).
This statement has caused great speculation,
with
many claiming
that Paul made abandonment grounds for divorce.
If this is true, then Paul allows divorce in this
situation when
the divine command to Christians prohibits divorce in a similar
situation (vs 11). This creates a double
standard if we say that is what Paul means.
It all centers around the meaning of “…is not enslaved.” Since it is extremely unlikely that Paul is
contradicting the divine command, we should understand “…is not
enslaved” to
mean that the believing spouse is not enslaved to a failed marriage. They are permitted to remain single, just as
the divine commandment allows for believers (vs 11).
In 1 Cor 7:17-24, Paul
speaks of his rule in
all the churches, and this is, “Only let each person lead the life that
the
Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.” (vs 17). He repeats this rule in vss 20 and 24. The examples he gives are circumcision versus
uncircumcision, and slavery versus being a freedman.
Regarding the issue of circumcision, Paul
says that “For neither circumcision counts for anything nor
uncircumcision, but
keeping the commandments of God.”
Regarding the issue of slavery, he says they should not be
concerned
about it, but to gain their freedom if they have the opportunity. Obviously Paul is applying this principle to
what he has already discussed, that is, the marriage of believer to an
unbeliever. Paul wants them to remain in
those marriages if the unbelievers will agree to stay with the
believing
spouses. That is his reason for stating
this principle here.
To make application of Paul’s principle that
“Each
one
should remain in the condition in which he was called” (vs 20) to
something
that Paul has not applied it is risky.
Paul would not advocate remaining in anything that would be
illegal,
immoral or unethical. 1 Cor 6:9-11
clearly indicates that sin must be recognized and there must be genuine
repentance. That includes adultery among
others. Such sins must be spoken of in
the past tense for Christians. If
someone was a thief before coming to Christ (vs 10), God would forgive
him
because of the blood of Christ (Rom 6:3-5) but he must leave his life
of being
a thief. If someone was a homosexual
before coming to Christ (vs 9), God would forgive him because of the
blood of
Christ but he must leave his life of being a homosexual.
The same thing would have been demanded of
those who were practicing adultery.
In 1 Cor 7:25-40, Paul
returns to the
tension between being married versus unmarried (compare vss 1-9). He again affirms both conditions, but he
obviously prefers that the unmarried remain unmarried “…in view of the
present
distress….” (vs 26). Indeed, history
would prove Paul correct about this impending distress, for Christians
would be
persecuted to their deaths in only a few years.
Paul makes a strong case for remaining unmarried, but clearly
states
that it is not sinful to marry. In verse
39, Paul returns to the divine command regarding marriage, and it is
worthwhile
to quote it again:
1 Cor 7:39
(ESV)
39A wife is bound to her
husband as long as
he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom
she
wishes, only in the Lord.
Marriage is permanent.
Here only death can dissolve the joining that God has performed
on a
husband and wife. If a marriage is
dissolved by death, then the surviving spouse may marry, but only if
that
person is a Christian. This is a hard
message for this century in America.
The Western Culture must take notice, for the
God of heaven and earth has spoken His will regarding marriage, divorce
and
remarriage. Let us not have a hard heart
or a hard head like the Jews of old, who suffered total loss because
they would
not listen or obey the teachings of their God.
Summary of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage
1.
In Matthew 19:3-6, Jesus
speaks of marriage as
being from the beginning, is defined as leaving, being united with his
wife,
and becoming one flesh. This joining of
husband and wife is done by God.
2.
In Matthew 19:7-9, Jesus
speaks of divorce as
being against the will of God, and was only tolerated in the Old
Covenant
because of the hardness of Jews’ hearts.
He says the only reason God accepts for divorce is sexual
immorality.
3.
In Matthew 19:10-12,
Jesus speaks of being single
instead of being married, and is a viable opinion if one can accept it.
Modern Objections to Christ’s Teachings on Marriage, Divorce and
Remarriage
There are numerous modern objections to
Christ’s
teachings
on marriage, divorce and remarriage. We
will consider some of these here.
First, many people do not believe that Jesus
was
actually
the Son of God, and that the miracles documented in the Gospels were
invented
by the apostles and the early church.
Thus they believe that the Bible is a false document, and
whatever it
says has no authority over our lives.
Although they cannot show any early document that can support
their
position, they hold tenaciously to their position.
They are not condemned because of their
position on marriage, divorce and remarriage, but because they do not
believe
that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God (Matt 16:13-19; John 3:18; 12:48).
Others admit to the Biblical account, and
even say
that they
believe in Jesus, but say that the demands of culture must modify the
Biblical
teachings, yes, modify even the commands of Christ.
They say, “This was their story, but it is
not my story.” Their hermeneutic is what
they feel the text says to them regardless of the original message. Again, they are judged because they reject
the teachings of Christ for themselves (John 12:48).
Still others, hurting for the masses of
people in
the
Western culture who have been unfaithful to the spouse of their youth,
reason
that divorce it the issue, and if one repents of divorce, then God
forgives
them and allows them to be married to someone who is not the wife of
their
youth. However, this is completely
inconsistent with the teachings of Christ.
You cannot condone marriages which constitute the daily
practice
of adultery. Repentance is a really
tough command, and God makes real demands on us in this commandment. There is no sin that we can willingly remain
in and be pleasing to God. A liar must
stop lying. A thief must stop
stealing. An adulterer must stop
committing adultery. Jesus says, “No, I
tell you, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” (Luke
13:3, 5).
Nothing will stand that does not conform to
the
teachings of
Christ.
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Current page: Marriage_Divorce_Remarriage.html
Copyright 2006, Vic Vadney
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: Vic Vadney
Revised: Oct/22/2006